February 2010
January 2010
Like someone pushing all my organs down into my feet. I know I fucked up but I’m learning from that. I’ve never been happier with my life, and I’m happy to have John in my life as well and happy and amazed to be with him. I don’t have the perfectly secure feeling and I’m fine with that for now, because after seeing you, I can allow myself that chance.
Though I’m scared, I will rise to the occasion and cheers my glass. This is all new to me, and I don’t know how to explain all this to him, and I want to.
I just want to love him, until he can’t be loved anymore, and then I will love him more. I want to hold him until the winds try to carry him off, and even then, I won’t let go.
Maybe this is too vague, and maybe I’m too old-fashioned for him. Maybe that’s what makes us perfect. Perfect in a sense of unperfection. I don’t get it either, just hold my hand and catch my breathe, we’ll be better than fine.
shit’s hella good
it’s a fucking rock concert.
Powers that be, would have swallowed me up
But that’s more than I can allow.” —